Sunday, April 29, 2007

Death by Ice Cream

Pea tried to kill me.

Okay, not really. What he did do was poison me inadvertently, which could, in fact, have led to my early and untimely demise. Pea's "mutiny" began with one small, simple action: he fetched me a glass of water.

Completely engrossed in whatever I was reading, I took a sip without looking at at the glass. One would think that when somebody you're seeing brings you a drink of water that it would be in a clean glass - one would, in this instance, be wrong.

There was ice cream on the rim of the glass - although how you get ice cream on the rim of a drinking glass I have no idea. Ice cream, unfortunately, is my mortal enemy - it's practically all milk. Dairy products cause me to go into anaphlactic shock. I've been that way since infancy.

So, upon taking a sip of what should have been a cold and refreshing glass of pure, untainted water, I realized that I had instead taken a sip of cold and refreshing liquid death. At the time, I didn't know the sticky substance on the lip of the glass was ice cream - only that it was setting off a reaction in me that could be a very bad thing if left unchecked.

We recovered, of course, by pumping me full of pulverized antihystemines, followed shortly by an overwhelming Benadryl coma. The night's shot, of course, but all parties involved survived.

I don't think we'll be making that mistake again.

Mr. Nice-but-Dull

"How long have we been talking, Gerry?"

"Oh, I don't know. A couple years, I guess. Why?"

"When are you going to ask me to dinner?"

Thus the initiation of my first date with Mr. Nice-but-Dull. We had, in fact, been conversing via the internet for over two years (if you include my 12-month stint in the Middle East). He had always been polite, but brief, and very reserved. Turns out he's precisely the same way face-to-face.

We talked about his job and about the upcoming Dave Ramsey live event that's coming to Kansas City in May (we're both fans). We talked about his family. We talked about decorating my apartment. We talked about everything that could possibly be discussed during a meal without actually saying anything of relevence.

After the date, a friend of mine asked how things went. "Fine" was the only adjective I could come up with. It wasn't that he wasn't a nice man - sweet, courteous, thoughtful, all those things. He just wasn't stimulating - which didn't make any sense. He's attractive, intelligent, articulate, has a good job and plenty of confidence - there was just no spark.

And then there's Pea. Sweet, simple, bashful Pea. He's a librarian and legal researcher by trade, which is just about as yawning of a profession as one could draft, yet he excites me. He's quiet, but I enjoy him immensely.

Ah well - so much for mom and dad's idea that I'd marry a doctor or a lawyer. I think I'll stick with what makes me happy, rather than what I'm "supposed" to do. I was never very good at following the rules, anyway.

Friday, April 27, 2007

What have you done for me, lately?

"What happened to your blog?" a buddy of mine asked.

Ever sharp-witted and quick on my feet, my immediate response is, "Huh?"


Has it really been a month? Oh yes, I think it has. Let's recap, shall we?
In the past thirty days I have:
Worked fifty to sixty hours a week consistently.
Planned two vacations (neither of which rolls around for another month or so).
Been on sixteen dates (yes, it's possible - I don't recommend it).
Completed two new pieces of furniture.
Slept (I think).
Eaten (not as often as I should have).

Basically, I've driven myself completely to the brink of insanity. I'm slowly stepping away from that ledge. Why, you may ask?

Well, tax season has played a part. My employment with RBFC goes into hyper-drive in April, and this space cadet got sucked into the black hole that results from the effort to keep up.

Because I refuse to allow work to dominate my life, I've also attempted to retain my grip on the last remaining threads that make up my social life. I've become more active in my local community, which probably would have been an activity best left for next month. I've also been looking for that ever-elusive other-half. It's been interesting, to say the least.

It has, however, generated some mighty interesting stories. I'll work on getting a few of those posted. In the meantime....

"I'm baa-aack!"